Is Fear Driving Your Life?

I saw this quote the other day, and it completely resonated with me.

You see, I spent most of my life in the first category. I was terrified of everything. Rejection. Failure. Heights. Attention. Flying. Physical pain. Being laughed at. Not being laughed at (I'm actually pretty dern funny). Being judged. Being misunderstood. Hurting people. Being hurt.

I was so afraid of bothering other people that I never even let doors make a sound as they closed behind me. I'm not talking about slamming doors. I'm talking about standing there and waiting for them to shut so I could ensure they made no more noise than the click of the latch.

Sad, huh?

I think so. I wasted a lot of my life allowing fear to dictate my decisions. I stayed home instead of going out and making friends that I so badly craved. I worked for ten years at a desk job that I hated when all I wanted was to be out in the world, having adventures and meeting people. I lived in a generic house in a generic neighborhood in the world's most generic city, and it sucked my soul dry.

But I stayed in all of those scenarios. Because I was afraid. Of failing. Of being rejected. Of learning that I was entirely right about myself: I wasn't good enough. 

Fast forward to now. This is what my life looks like.

I live on a sailboat in the cutest town in the Pacific Northwest. With a dog and a husband I adore. I spent the last year and a half working as a flight attendant, waking up in a different city every day and making friends with so many amazing people. I have started flight training to become a pilot (I might want to work for the airlines. And I might want to fly float planes!...maybe both!).

If you had told me five years ago that this is how my life would look today, I would have cried at the thought. It is the kind of life I could have only dreamed of having as I sat at that desk, staring at numbers I didn't care about, day in and day out.

It's not a perfect life by any means. And it's been turned upside down lately because of a number of factors, namely the coronavirus. But unlike the girl I was five years ago, I know that it will right itself. Someday it will be even better than before.

You want to know how I know that?

Because I don't let fear drive me anymore. I found my way to the second category. Sure, I still get scared, but fear is designed to protect us. It is always going to be a part of life. It is there to say, "hey! watch out, lady. This could be dangerous!" To which, I now say, "hey, fear. Thanks for having my back. I'll take a look at the situation and figure out the best course of action for me. Your services are no longer required here."

I wish I could tell you it was an easy road from one to the other. In truth, it took years of therapy, lots of hard emotional work and a majority stock in Kleenex to get here.

But like all journeys, it began with one step. A small step. A baby step even. The kind of step that doesn't seem so scary.

It begins with simply noticing your thought patterns, acknowledging your fear and deciding to take control. Realizing you're letting fear drive you is the hardest part. Once you're aware, you can start to take action. Small actions, of course. You don't need years of therapy to make a change. Only a little bit of courage and a little bit of effort.

Next time you realize you're gripped by fear, try taking a deep breath. In fact, take five. And then ask yourself this:

What baby step can I take here?

We are currently in the midst of a major world health crisis, and it's scary. What can you do today to lessen your fear?

Try taking a single step out of your comfort zone.

Are you afraid to leave your house? Take a walk around the block. Or to the end of your driveway.

Tomorrow build on that.

I'm not suggesting you get all crazy and go lick light poles or hold hands with folks at the grocery store. But we have found ourselves with a unique opportunity to face our fears and overcome them. It would be a shame to waste it.

And it would be amazing to look back on this time and be able to say we grew.

Do you have story of overcoming fear? Or are you at a point where fear still has you in its grips? Please share below in the comments. We're all in this together, and I'd love to offer support in any way I can!