Kindness Begins Within

If you're anything like me, you probably read that heading and thought to yourself, "Yeah. Right. It's so much easier to be kind to others than it is to be kind to myself."

But that's sad, isn't it? That we feel like we don't deserve the same kindness that we show to others. That we feel like somehow our own shortcomings make us unworthy of kindness, yet the same shortcomings in another person can be forgiven, looked past.

I try to govern my actions by the idea that a strong life comes from a strong foundation. To me, that means that I can be a better version of myself, I can do more good for others when I take care of myself first. When I eat well and exercise, my body is stronger. When I sleep enough and I challenge my mind, I feel sharper, wittier. 

When I am kind to myself, I can be kinder to others. 

Today I challenge you to look past your imperfections and treat yourself to an act of self-kindness. It doesn't have to be something major, but it should make you feel good inside. It should build you up, make you feel strong. 

Here are a few suggestions if you're short on ideas:

1. Allow yourself time to do something you love. 

Take a bath. Read a book. Go to a yoga class. Watch an episode of smutty TV. And...here's the kicker....don't beat yourself up about the things you think you should have been doing during that time. Don't. That's the kindness part, my friend.

2. Do something "bad for you" that you usually don't allow. 

Eat the pizza. Drink the wine. Buy the shoes. Stay up too late so you can finish that book. Spend an hour scrolling through social media. Be "bad" and be okay with it. Be more than okay with it. Enjoy the crap out of it!

3. Forgive yourself when you make a mistake. 

We all make mistakes. Every single day. Were you late to an appointment? Lock the keys in your car? Forget an item from your list at the grocery store? Don't beat yourself up about it. You're allowed to make mistakes. Say it to yourself. "I am allowed to make mistakes." 

4. Take a turn being the picker.

Make what YOU want for dinner. Watch the movie YOU want to watch. It is noble to put the needs of your family before your own, but make sure you're taking a turn sometimes too. Your input and desires have value. And today is your turn.

5. Practice affirmations.

Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful. Or you're smart. Or you're hilariously funny. Look yourself in the eye. Don't turn away. Don't break your own eye contact. Say it and mean it. The thing about affirmations is the more we say them, the more we believe them. Here are a few more ideas for awesome affirmations.

- I am a good mom. 

- I am successful.

- I am happy.

- I love myself.

- I deserve all the amazing things in my life. 

- I deserve love. 

- I am a good person.

Affirmations are often quite uncomfortable. But the harder it is the say something to yourself, the more it needs to be said. Affirmations help us program our minds to believe these things are true. 

You may look at those five suggestions and see a common thread. It's called grace. 

Grace is the greatest kindness we can give to ourselves. It means we can allow ourselves to be imperfect. We can forgive ourselves for our mistakes and we can accept that we deserve the good things in our lives in spite of them. 

Self-kindness isn't easy. Like anything else, it requires practice to become good at. So give yourself grace there, too. And keep practicing.

We will never stop making mistakes. We will never be perfect. But that doesn't change the fact that we all deserve kindness. So take me up on my challenge. Be kind to yourself today. And then leave me a comment and let me know how it goes.